While Paul McCartney is best known for his expansive catalogue of pop gems with the Beatles, his rancorous divorce from former model and charity campaigner Heather Mills hit few high notes. The low point in the proceedings may have come when a frustrated Mills poured a jug of water on her soon-to-be ex-husband’s lawyer, apparently in response to the lawyer’s suggestion that details related to the couple’s then 4-year-old daughter be revealed.
Eyes on the prize
Unfortunately, most people who have survived divorce court know that the emotions that led Mills to her outburst are not uncommon. Indeed, the scenarios that lead most couples to dissolve their marriages can lead people to enter divorce court with tempers already running high. This is why spouses should keep a few critical factors in mind at the outset of any divorce proceeding.
First and foremost, spouses must remember that they have chosen to divorce because it is the best course of action for them and, in many cases, their children. When divorce is initiated by the other spouse, this unfortunately still holds true, as the divorcing spouse no longer seeks to remain part of the marital unit. With that in mind, spouses should make critical decisions with their best interests in mind, and the interests of their children. This requires making lists of priorities, and seeking to achieve them, as opposed to meeting other emotional needs.
Save the venting for therapists and counselors
What this means on a practical level is not using divorce court as the means to punish a spouse or seek revenge for perceived wrongs. Acting out of anger in court is a recipe for disaster. It makes it difficult for others to address your needs honestly and render decisions that are in your best interest. This is the time to plan for your future in a calm and collected way, which frustration and rage only prevents.
Perhaps the most important decision in any divorce case is selecting legal counsel that can vigorously pursue your best interests.